What IF!
by ironicalthinking
Summary: This one-shot is the various thoughts going on in our least favourite villain Peter Pettigrew's mind who was the reason of the breaking up of the epic Mauderers.it is kind of related to HP & the Deathly Hallows. So do read my account of the rat..


**What If?**

_This one-shot is the various thoughts going on in our least favourite villain Peter Pettigrew's mind who was the reason of the breaking up of the epic is kind of related to HP & the Deathly please read my account of the rat.._

The lane was submerged in semi-darkness and the alleys surrounding it smelled of dried blood. The corpses lying there were hanging in such a formless position that it seemed they were alive but it couldn't be possible since the chief parts of the bodies were missing or mutilated badly moreover there was no blood or flesh remaining. He was ready to bet that it was the result of being baits to the various creatures of the dark.

Vampires, werewolves, and with a shudder he remembered the dementors that could have made any _rat _cringe (pun intended) well technically he should be too then why was this not affecting him; with a deep breath and goosebumps all over his body he started walking ahead. His duty was the same everyday and this is what was consuming him up; going to his past which he sure was anxious about; all thanks to the _one feeling_ he always felt.

There was a shadow on the ground which was shinning as if made of the finest stars and he smiled since he knew the source of shine; it was _his..his_ very own silver hand. his master he thought with a shudder had given him the best gift according to him, it made him feel powerful and also made his so called _new-family _sigh. The alley was really long before one could apparate out of it and so he let his mind wander to the night he got his most treasured gift or was it...either way he started reminiscing the night...how many months of planning had gone into it and still they were thwarted by the same old and _powerful_ in his words the boy now he was to become a man._ Harry Potter_. He made sure he never remembered the middle name of that boy since that made him cringe with that _feeling_again...but the boy looked so much like the mauderer he loved and looked up to once upon a time. His thoughts were broken by a loud bang that made him fall down flat on his face; disgusted with himself he actually said aloud.

___"Why am I so scared of everything?"_

When all the boys enter Hogwarts for the first time, they are excited for meeting new people, learning magic, may be a bit nervous but never sacred. Peter thought he must be the only guy who was scared of being accepted, scared of making friends, scared of everything. He blamed a bit on his mother, the house he was brought up in was sheltered. He never had a sense of belonging. He remembered his childhood years, he had no friends.

At 7 years old he had a daily routine of walking to the nearby Muggle Park at sitting in the last swing and enjoying nature. He admired one girl from the neighbouring muggle village and would go to the park to see her. He was too scared to talk to her. Then after many months of sitting alone in the swing; he decided to approach the girl. Due to his nervousness he started stammering but managed to ask her; _"willl youu be my my friend"._

The girl freaked out by this strange kid who was always sat alone and she ran away but not before laughing at his face. This he figured must be since the girl didn't understand him; he decided he shall try again the next day. When he entered the park; he saw a group of kids gathered and when he entered the park for his swing they all started imitating him and even pushed him from the swing. He was very upset and started sobbing at which the kids started throwing mud at him. At that time there was anger and something different was it courage that built up and the mud started flying around him. He found himself at his front door with a loud pop.

One hearing the pop his mom came rushing out and made cookies and milk for him, he felt safe, he felt loved but on the death of his mother he became an orphan. Though it happened in the Fourth year, he was alone and scared. Later he came to know that was his first accidental magic and it was not fear but anger that made him magical could have made him strong perhaps. Anger and courage…

A loud piercing scream in the air made him alter and he started hurrying up to apparate out of this place. _This__feeling__of being scared is going to be the death of me_ he thought; and still I will be scared always. I am actually a disgrace. this was the millionth time he wondered why in the world did the sorting hat put him in Gryffindor house during his schooling days in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry which stood for courage when he was sure he lacked it, he was more of the cunning selfish type or was he!. Again he was confused. He had reached the end of the alley and with a rather loud pop he disappeared from sight.

The eagle was soaring high above in the sky...it was nearly the first crack of dawn as some sign of movements could be seen in the village. it was no average village as it had been a historic place for both the good and the evil...there was a humongous lion engraved with all types of symbols and it actually emitted a translucent glow as if checking on every person that dare enter the village to harm it but _Alas!_ It had been harmed and the story was no _secret_. Adjacent to the lion was a board which stated in bold words, **"Godric's Hollow"**

The man appeared just outside the gate and instantly turned into a _rat_._ Merlin_ how proud was he of that achievement! Unlike all his other goof-ups this mania he had been successful to complete brilliantly and right under the nose of the _then_ headmaster of his school, muggle loving fool _Albus Dumbledore_. The headmaster wasn't aware of three animals running around the grounds of Hogwarts. The animals were actually wizards who could turn into an animal by choice so an unregistered _animagus_…a stag, a dog and a rat who ruled the grounds once a month obviously accompanied with a werewolf also nicknamed as _Mauderers_.

The _stag_ was _James Potter_, an intelligent wizard who died in vain.

The _dog_was _Sirius Black_, an arrogant but once handsome pureblood.

The _werewolf_ was _Remus Lupin_, who always drowned in self-pity.

The _rat_ was none other than the traitor of the group; weak, cunning and selfish._Peter Pettigrew._

Peter was scurrying through the village in his rat form thinking that it was due to his selfishness he had survived for so many years; agreed that Remus was also alive but he was as good as dead considering rapid rise of the dark lord and thinking of the latter made him shiver again. He always used to wonder what made him leave his loyal friends; was it their talents which gave him an inferiority complex, or the fact that they were handsome and powerful. Yeah that was the word _**power**___he always had a weakness for it...literally. But was it all worth it since he was now all alone..

He came upon his work place _a house_. It was in ruins as if it was crushed by the evilest powers. The garden had overgrown weeds and the backyard consisted of the fallen debris of the house; the vibrations in the air suggested only negativity but still it was a sight for many a people since this was the place where the wizarding world's most feared wizard met his almost death from facing a one year old._Harry Potter_.

This was the house where James and Lily Potter were murdered but their son and the last heir to the Potter line lived. Peter was to watch this house for any signs of the heir turning up and another very bizarre task according to him as it was to observe _Bathilda Bagshot-the author of History of Magic_; as such it was really a boring activity but it was safe and no risk was involved. This seemed perfect for the scared Peter...the only problem was the house which brought back his old memories. The ones how much ever he denied he truly valued those memories because they were his best. His fun school days with the Mauderers; the pranks, the loyal friends, the strutting around in the castle, the innocence, the security and lastly the satisfaction of truly being at _home_. His second home; it actually made him feel at times to question his judgment to join the dark side.

He actually had a cool set of friends. James his usual self entertaining Peter at all times and he was his follower. Sirius well was actually never_ serious_which suited him since he was the life of the Mauderers after James. Remus poor that guy had spent so much time and dedication in helping peter that it was due to him and occasional help from Sirius when he was serious had peter completed his studies..

Peter often wondered if the Mauderers would have still been the same had they been alive. Would he still get that immense satisfaction and joy..

**What if? What if? I hadn't betrayed my friends.**

**What if I actually hadn't behaved like a rat and scurried out**; thought Peter. These were just random thoughts that had no answer actually it was due to his activities that they couldn't be answered and so he shook them away and concentrated on the existing present and the task that the dark lord had set him up to as he could see his _subject_ Bathilda invite some geeky looking person with a shawl and a green bag invite over for breakfast and he heard their voices.

_"Hello ma'am.I am Rita Skeeter it really is an honour meeting you & I have heard so much about your legendary skills" _said the geeky woman in a highly sweet voice..but Peter's thoughts still had a humming sound in his head which were. **What If?**


End file.
